I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
