That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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