Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
