life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
