BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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