third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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