she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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