My room smells like vodka and shame
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
