Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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