Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
