so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
