even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
