Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
