with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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