I wanna bring you to show and tell
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
