i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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