I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
