he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just googled if crying burns calories
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
