I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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