just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
