White coat. Heels.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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