well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
