um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
