I wish I could punch you in the face.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
