Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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