last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
