Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
