Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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