Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
cat food counts as protein by the way
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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