I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize