playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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