I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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