I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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