Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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