like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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