Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
