I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
