I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
