What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
please come you make the beer taste better
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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