I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
A bitchslap is in order.
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