ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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