So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
