God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's never too late to be topless.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
