we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Is Oprah even human
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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