dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
