His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize