Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
