u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
