I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Randomize
