watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize