his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
