My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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