Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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