I want to make a zoo with you.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
