I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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