Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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