at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize