Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
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We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
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Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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