I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize