The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
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Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
So. Much. Porn.
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