I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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