Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
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ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
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She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.