This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
