ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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