Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.