hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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